I'm sick

:[

thank God for One Tree Hill DVDs and Dayquill

because some people have wondered
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this journal is friends only
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....
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because i don't appreciate my personal thoughts and feeling
spread across the internet for everyone to see
i only do that with my graphics. 
:]

The sun is rising? And yet it will set. A night of anguish? And yet it too, will pass. The important thing is to shun resignation, to refuse to wallow in sterile fatalism. That great pessimist King Solomon put it well: "The days come and the days go; one generation passeth away, and another generation cometh; but the earth abideth forever. The sun also riseth, and the sun goeth down...What has been will be..." Must we stop time, then, and the sun? Yes, sometimes we must try, even if it is for nothing. Sometimes we must try because it is for nothing. Precisely because an event seems devoid of meaning, we must give it one. Precisely because the future eludes us, we must create it.
*
I saw a commercial yesterday on MTV. It was one of those THINK ones, and it mentioned conserving energy. So, curious me, went and did some research and I kinda realized how two-faced I am on that subject. I tell people to recycle, I yell at my brother for leaving his light on, and yet, I'm on the computer for hours on end.
It just sucks because there's so many ideas I have and dreams I want to pursue, but they all seem so out of reach. I want to type them down, but I feel that if I let anybody know, that bubble of hope will pop.  Besides, all my WANT-TO-DOs are probably never going to occur in my life, so why bother. For one, I don't have the money, for another, I don't have the galls. 
I just wish I could figure everything out and have my life calm and complete before I head off to school. 

I am going to try and write an entry tomorrow. An actual one. And maybe finish the picture book for the gathering.
But right now I'm exhausted. I blame supernatural and the internet.

i am in a supernatural craze right now. (more than usual)